Jose Canseco Will Take On Vai Sikahema in the Fight of the Century

Just in case you weren't already aware of it, Jose Canseco is desperate for money. Canseco has admitted that he's lost his house and roughly $15 million in recent divorce settlements with his two ex-wives, and it's left his wallet pretty empty. That's why he's written two books, and why he's most recently been heard begging for somebody to challenge him to a fight in a "celebrity" boxing exhibition, even starting an email address for all comers to throw down the gauntlet.

Personally, I wasn't man enough to throw my name in the ring as one of Jose's possible opponents, but not because I'm terrified by Canseco (though I'm not saying he wouldn't kick my ass because he most definitely would). No, it's because I still have this troubling thing called dignity. Fortunately for Jose and the rest of the world, not everybody is like me. He's found his opponent, and it's former Philadelphia Eagles return specialist Vai Sikahema.

"I got Jose Canseco, the 'bad boy of baseball,' " ["celebrity" boxing promoter Damon] Feldman said in announcing the July 12 card at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic

If that's the main event, who the hell is on the undercard? Jaleel White vs. Dave Meggett? Dave Coulier vs. Sedale Threatt?

I'm not sure what, if any, kind of background Sikahema has in fighting, though I know he sucked in Tecmo Bowl. Canseco on the other hand says he's had over 20 years worth of experience in kung-fu, taekwondo, and Muay Thai (I think I ate there last week). What a fight this should be! Two men will enter, only one will leave with an over-sized novelty check.