Boxing Mlb Gossip

Just in case you weren't already aware of it, Jose Canseco is desperate for money. Canseco has admitted that he's lost his house and roughly $15 million in recent divorce settlements with his two ex-wives, and it's left his wallet pretty empty. That's why he's written two books, and why he's most recently been heard begging for somebody to challenge him to a fight in a "celebrity" boxing exhibition, even starting an email address for all comers to throw down the gauntlet.

Personally, I wasn't man enough to throw my name in the ring as one of Jose's possible opponents, but not because I'm terrified by Canseco (though I'm not saying he wouldn't kick my ass because he most definitely would). No, it's because I still have this troubling thing called dignity. Fortunately for Jose and the rest of the world, not everybody is like me. He's found his opponent, and it's former Philadelphia Eagles return specialist Vai Sikahema.

"I got Jose Canseco, the 'bad boy of baseball,' " ["celebrity" boxing promoter Damon] Feldman said in announcing the July 12 card at Bernie Robbins Stadium in Atlantic

If that's the main event, who the hell is on the undercard? Jaleel White vs. Dave Meggett? Dave Coulier vs. Sedale Threatt?

I'm not sure what, if any, kind of background Sikahema has in fighting, though I know he sucked in Tecmo Bowl. Canseco on the other hand says he's had over 20 years worth of experience in kung-fu, taekwondo, and Muay Thai (I think I ate there last week). What a fight this should be! Two men will enter, only one will leave with an over-sized novelty check.

It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma!

A curious name popped up in a bust related to the one that took place yesterday at Signature Pharmacies of Orlando, Florida. Here's the breathless report from Brendan J. Lyons senior writer from the Albany Times-Union:

In a related case in Mobile, Ala., two owners of Applied Pharmacy Services have been indicted by an Albany County grand jury. Their customer list allegedly includes former professional boxer and heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield, Los Angeles Angels center fielder Gary Matthews Jr., and retired baseball star Jose Canseco, an admitted steroid user.

A law enforcement source involved in that investigation said authorities have not identified what types of products allegedly were ordered by Matthews or Holyfield, whom they said used the name "Evan Fields" when placing orders.

Matthews was told before his spring training game on Tuesday that his name appeared in a Times Union news report. "There's nothing much to say. A name is mentioned. It's sketchy at best," said Los Angeles Angels Vice President of Communications Tim Mead.

How the federal investigators were able to, in one day, tie together the name Evan Fields to Holyfield is unknown. Unless the name is listed with Holyfield's address, it appears that the feds might be setting the public up for future tying of names - aliases? - to famous people.

Though Holyfield himself did not comment, Donald Tremblay, a PR director from Main Event, the company promoting Evander's upcoming fight said the ex-champ he's never heard of Applied Pharmacy Services. In a later statement, Holyfield said:

"I do not use steroids. I have never used steroids," the four-time champ said in the release. "I resent that my name has been linked to known steroid users by sources who refuse to be identified in order to generate publicity for their investigation. I'm disappointed that certain members of the media ... chose to use my name in headlines and publish my photo alongside stories ... about an investigation into a practice that has nothing to do with me or what I stand for."

Evan Fields, eh? It is said that entertainers are also involved with Signature and Allied. Perhaps the investigators need to check the names beginning with "S." There they may find the name "Strawberry Fields," a sure link to a famous entertainer living in - Paul McCartney.

Note to investigators: This should not be a, "let's cause a big ruckus" event to further tell the world of the horrors of steroid use. We already got that dog-and-pony show from Congress. Further, it's not an X-File where every name can potentially lead to the knowledge of alien intervention in creating a hybrid human-alien through the use of - steroids. Take your time, put in the work, come up with some facts, then hold a press conference and tell us all who did what. Don't say diddly-pooh beforehand.